Yes, it's pretty obvious you're just trying to flirt. I have a cart-load, and yet you pick waiting in line behind me with your sole 6-pack of beer, when there is an express lane and a self-checkout. Yes, I know you were looking at my butt while I was unloading my cart. I don't think I have often been more uncomfortable in my life. I only wish I had been able to return the favor by whipping out a ginormic box of Tampax or Monistat or something and setting it in front of your beer. :D
Please don't try to make stupid small-talk. Yes, I have a lot of food to buy. It will last me 2-3 weeks, and quite obviously by the fact that I am purchasing animal crackers and juice boxes showcasing Clifford the Big Red Dog, I have a child(ren), and am shopping for a family. You, obviously (heh), are single. And a good 10 years older than me. So leemme alone. Creep.
Kthxbai
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12 comments:
Ick! That would give me the heeby jeebies too!
It seems I must teach you the grocery cart maneuver.
Place grocery cart between you and annoying person; unloading your groceries from the front of your cart. When annoying person tries to get close; not so gently roll cart back; aiming for the jerk's toes if possible. If the first time doesn't work; shove cart back into them firmly preferably aiming handle to mid-section or groin.
When asked by the box person if they can have your cart to put your groceries in; loudly tell them "NO, I need this one as a barrier between me and the jerk behind me". I actually did this once and the person sheepishly left my line.
This maneuver is also useful for mother's with out of control children who think nothing of stepping on your toes and for nosey people who insist upon crowding you.
This works every time and is particularly satisfying during the summer when jerkface is wearing sandles.
LMAO Mom! Have I told you I love you recently?!
I think you just did!
Took me a minute to get LMAO (cause I'm old and not always in tune with all you youngins and your abbreviations)...but a little thinkin and I actually got it!
LOL, man I'd be thrilled that someone was hitting on me! I'd come home all proud with a puffy chest, haha!
Love your mom's humour!
Humour? What are you Canadian, Deb? ;)
I know all the lingo, Mom, I'll learn ya. ;)
TAG - You're it Michelle. See my blog for instructions.
haha, ya I don't know where I was going with that one......feeling adventerous I guess
Dang it Dawn! :P
Actually, Mom, he wasn't crowding me, just being obnoxiously friendly. No, I don't want to talk to you! Quit leering at me!
Ewww~how uncomfortable is that???? Love the post though.
TAG!! You're it! Check out my blog for more information!
Ah, but the beauty of the grocery cart maneuver is that is works on verbally obnoxious people too.
You have your cart; plus your arm's length between you and them creating a cavernous distance across which they must shout for you (and the rest of the world) to hear them...makes you verbally and physically unreachable!
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